:)

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will...

We'll have our heart broken and we'll break others' hearts...

We'll fight with our best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and we'll cry because time is flying by...

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like we've never been hurt...

Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances....

We just have to live life to the fullest,

tell someone what they mean to us and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until our face hurts...

Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all....

Live in the moment because every second we spend angry or upset is a second of happiness we can never get back.......

killing me

Sometimes I wonder if love is worth fighting for, but then I remember your face and I'm ready for WAR!

It's not the song that makes me cry, but it's the person that first comes into my mind everytime I hear it playing... 

In time, I may forget your face and your name. But I can assure you that I will never forget just how much you meant to me. How much your smile made my heart flutter, how much your tears broke me at the knees... and how much your gentle, loving character... changed me...

Forget his name, forget his face 

Forget his kiss and his warm embrace 

Forget the love that once came true 

Remember now there's someone new,

Forget the love that you once shared 

Forget the face that had once cared 

Forget the time you spent together 

Remember now he's gone forever, 

Forget you cried the whole night through 

Forget him when they play your song 

Forget how close you two once were 

Remember now he's chosen her, 

Forget you memorized his walk 

Forget the way he used to talk 

Forget the times he was mad 

Remember he's happy instead of sad, 

Forget his teasing, gentle ways 

Forget you saw him everyday 

Forget he made your dreams come true 

Remember now she loves him too, 

Forget the thrill when he walked by 

Forget him when he made you cry 

Forget the way he spoke your name 

Remember now he's not the same, 

Forget the way he said he loved you 

Forget the way he kissed and hugged you 

Forget all those nights when he held you tight 

Remember now he holds her tonight, 

Forget all those sunny days 

Forget all those poems he made 

Forget those times through good and bad 

Remember he said he'd never make you sad, 

Forget the games he played with you 

Forget the times he stayed with you 

Forget those cold, cold nights 

Remember now he keeps her warm tonight, 

Forget the way he looked at you 

Forget you kissed the whole night through 

Forget all you dreams came true 

REMEMBER, that he doesn't love you. 

I keep tellin myself it isn't the right thing to do
spending time on dreams that aren't coming true..
but i'm the kind of girl that keeps myself in line...
so even with a tear in my eye, i manage to say
"i'm fine"

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one,

so that when we finally meet that person, we will know how to be grateful...

Just A Dream

Every girl needs a man.

You know, the kind that’ll treat you right...

The kind that has enough respect for you & is willing to change, just to be with you..

The kind that searches for you with all his heart & that can be trusted in a room full of beautiful girls...

Every girl needs a man who won’t cheat on her because he knows she’s got all that he wants & needs already...

He won’t mind calling you early in the morning just to say good morning or late at night to say good night; maybe even sing you a good morning song & tell you a bedtime story or talk to you until you fall asleep....

This guy will be the kind that’ll do anything for you, even if it’s to just go to the store & buy you your favorite kind of candy or chocolates..

He would defend & fight for you & wouldn’t bail on you for his friends when you need him most...

The kind that won’t leave you lonely & wondering; the one that calls you surprisingly, even if he’s out with his friend, to just tell you that he loves & misses you a lot...

The kind that isn’t afraid to smile to his friends every time you’re around & tell them, “She’s the one”...

The kind that appreciates you for the things you do for him, even if they’re little....

The ones that actually thank you for the little love notes you leave him, waits for you when you’re falling behind, & opens doors for you..

Every girl needs a man who will take you out on dates once in awhile & buys you flowers just because it’s a Wednesday...

The kind of guy that notices your hair when you just got it cut or done beautifully for him...

He would remind you that he loves you & that he’s happy to be with you, just in case you forget...

The kind that just doesn’t want kisses & hugs, but to actually be loved & to love..

You deserve a guy that will call you beautiful instead of hot, who kisses your forehead when you’re down, tells you to be strong & to not cry, & when you do cry, he’d cry with you when times are hard..

The kind that will go through thick & thin with & for you. The kind that just loves you for who you are & not for who you aren’t and loves you because you’re his favorite girl in the whole wide world...

Have you ever found a a man same as my description? If you found one...you are lucky girl in this world! Hope one day i will found mine! That really can make me smile always, That will never make me upset..that will never only watch with me with his fucking eyes when i'm fall, while i'm in hard situations..when i'm down..

That will never show me his fucking damn mad faces!!

That know how to treat me like i was a "girlfriend"...

"He Wasn't" - Avril Lavigne

There's not much going on today.

I'm really bored, it's getting late.

What happened to my Saturday?

Monday's coming, the day I hate.

Sit on the bed alone, staring at the phone.

He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought, no.

He wouldn't even open up the door.

He never made me feel like I was special.

He isn't really what I'm looking for.

This is when I start to bite my nails.

And clean my room when all else fails.

I think it's time for me to bail.

This point of view is getting stale.

I'll sit on my bed alone, staring at the phone.

He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought, no.

He wouldn't even open up the door.

He never made me feel like I was special.

He isn't really what I'm looking for.

Na na na na na, we've all got choices.

Na na na na, we've all got voices.

Na na na na na, stand up make some noise.

Na na na na, stand up make some noise.

I'll sit on my bed alone, staring at the phone.

He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought, no.

He wouldn't even open up the door.

He never made me feel like I was special.

He isn't really what I'm looking for.

He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought, no.

He wouldn't even open up the door.

He never made me feel like I was special.

Like I was special, cuz I was special.

i may not...

i may not...

i may not be the girl every guy wants, but i like the way i are..
i may not make everyone laugh or smile, but i still make jokes and laugh at them...
i may not be part of the popular group, but i still have friends who care for who i am..
i may believe in love and fairy tales, but at least i have a creative mind..
i may believe in happy endings, but its better than ending up crying or being sad or mad...
i may not be happy all the time but i know im appreciate my life and i begin to be happy...
i may get in fights with my friends and my parents, but i know its not worth running away...
i may be the girl who cares about that people think but ill be myself anyway...
i may have the biggest dreams in the world, but i still believe in myself...
i may not be the person to keep your secrets, but ill tell you all of mine and you can tell the world for all i care...
i may not be perfect, but i'll not made my life boring...
i may listen to "different music" but at least i dont get bored of listening to the same kind of songs over and over again...
i may love to write but at least im going to go somewhere in life...
i may be a fearful person, but at least im learning to grow from my fears..
i may be a suck-up, but at least im not a b**ch...
i may sometimes fail my test because i dont get it, but i know im not retarded...
i may ask too many questions because im curious, but aleast im not just sitting there pretending like i know everything...
i may have spent hours writing this, but atleast im a deep person and i like to share my thoughts...

so i may be the person you'd like to gossip about, but i dont care 
i know who i am and obviously you dont so WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF!!! because honestly you got a lot to worry about...that's what a life is.....

my LITTLE girl "ADEK"

Sisters??

Do you have one?

Yeahh..i have two...no matter how they grow up, they still be "little" sister for me..a middle one is close to me..

For me, there is no friend like a sister, in calm or stormy weather, to cheer one on the tedious way, to fetch one if one goes astray, to lift one if one totters down, to strengthen whilst one stands...

Sister is probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once the sisters are grown, it becomes the strongest relationship...

I still remember clearly..our childhood memories..

How she's cry because of me...but no one's can bully her as i do..

I always fight with boys that two times bigger than me, just to defend and protect her.I will never think about the risk.What I'm thinking is just to protect her.Am i over protective? Yeahh, i am..I can't see tears in her eyes...I will take revenge..Because no one's can bully her..except me! Hahahaha..

And our "childhood promises"..

( only me and her know what is it )

Years by years past..Now, she grow up and become a beautiful lady...She is not always by my side..But she always here, in my heart....my little sis and always be... 

"ADEK"

We are sisters. We will always be sisters.Our differences may never go away, but neither, for me, will our song..

Sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost..

Having a sister is like having a best friend you can't get rid of.  You know whatever you do, they'll still be there.

I know some sisters who only see each other on Mother's Day or Eid's Day and some who will never speak again.

But most are like my sister and me...linked by volatile love, best friends who make other best friends ever so slightly less best.

Al-Fatihah..

Dedicated To My Beloved Late Grandpa :

Awang Jaragan Bin Pengiran Haji Arif

"Slipped Away"

I miss you, miss you so bad

I don't forget you, oh it's so sad

I hope you can hear me

I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away

Was the day I found it won't be the same

I didn't get around to kiss you

Goodbye on the hand

I wish that I could see you again

I know that I can't

I hope you can hear me cause I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away

Was the day I found it won't be the same

I had my wake up

Won't you wake up

I keep asking why

And I can't take it

It wasn't fake

It happened, you passed by

Now you are gone, now you are gone

There you go, there you go

Somewhere I can't bring you back

Now you are gone, now you are gone

There you go, there you go,

Somewhere your not coming back

The day you slipped away

Was the day i found it won't be the same noo..

The day you slipped away

Was the day that i found it won't be the same oooh...

I miss you..

I'm Proud Of Being Grandpa's Little Girl

I AM ME

 I AM ME..

I'm not self-obsessed,

I'm just confident and that's not wrong...

I live life to the fullest and enjoy every moment i spend in company of others...

I'm Me: i act immature, eat when i'm bored,

yell when i'm angry,

and never regret something that once made me happy...

I believe in true love,

and i believe in making my dreams come true,

because i'm a believer...

I'm a bitch because i don't let you puuush me around... 

I'm a liar because i won't tell you everything...

I'm stupid because sometimes i'm wrong... 

I'm uggggly because my face isn't perfect...

I'm a loser because i'm not friends with your group.. 

I'm fake because most of the time i'm happy..

I'm weird because i'm not like you...

I'm controlling because i get mad sometimes..

I'm....clingy,because i like to be around people... 

I'm greedy because i like to be satisfied..

I'm naive because i'm younger than you...

I'm conceited because i'm proud of who i am... 
I'm rude because my manners arennn't perfect...

I'm unappreciative because i don't praise you... 

Don't try to tell me who I am because I already know.... 

NOTES TO MY SELF...

NOTES TO MYSELF

"Dear You,

You're probably thinking I've forgotten all about you by now,

but that's far from it.

I have missed you every waking day & my heart still hurts,but I'm getting better.

I continue to smile & still go on without you.

I know I have missed you,but I have kept it all inside of me,only for me to know.

I still wonder about your doings, how you are,what we used to talk about,to the laugh in your voice...

Just, everything.

I miss it all...

However,I feel that the parting of us was for the best,because everything happens for a reason...

Should destiny put us into a crossing road in the future,

that is when I will see you again....

Until then,remember this..

No matter what,even through the screaming fights,the disagreements,mistakes & the tears we've cried..

though I saw this as a possible outcome,

I took the risk & gave you my all..

Never,ever,did I give up on you.

Do not give up on yourself.Believe.Anything is possible...

You are never knows I will always pray for you..

I can't go back to yesterday..

because I know for now,you are different..

But me..,inside..

Still be me..no one's can change me..."

I miss the past,
and all the people who were a part of it....
I miss the people who claimed to care about me,
when deep down,I knew as well as them,
that they didn’t....
I miss the way things used to be...
It’s a known fact,which I was aware of,
but I didn’t want to believe it,
not like how I do now..
I’ve finally realized...
people always leave....
I cant go back to yesterday,
because I was a different person then....
And i smile...
keep on walking...
No matter how hard it is...
No matter what i will face...
Because...
I always believe,
Everything happen for a reason,
That's why people hold tight on to memories...
People's changed..but memories didn't... **SMILE with tears :')